Wine and Water
- Old Noah he had an ostrich farm and fowls on the largest scale,
- He ate his egg with a ladle in a egg-cup big as a pail,
- And the soup he took was Elephant Soup and fish he took was Whale,
- But they all were small to the cellar he took when he set out to sail,
- And Noah he often said to his wife when he sat down to dine,
- "I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."
- The cataract of the cliff of heaven fell blinding off the brink
- As if it would wash the stars away as suds go down a sink,
- The seven heavens came roaring down for the throats of hell to drink,
- And Noah he cocked his eye and said, "It looks like rain, I think,
- The water has drowned the Matterhorn as deep as a Mendip mine,
- But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."
- But Noah he sinned, and we have sinned; on tipsy feet we trod,
- Till a great big black teetotaller was sent to us for a rod,
- And you can't get wine at a P.S.A., or chapel, or Eisteddfod,
- For the Curse of Water has come again because of the wrath of God,
- And water is on the Bishop's board and the Higher Thinker's shrine,
- But I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine.
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Last modified: 27th May, 1998
De Montfort University, Leicester.